Back to School

Alex Heke

Image by Chokniti under Adobe Stock Lincense

“Why are you being so boring?”

This is now a common refrain in my home and one my nine-year-old doesn’t understand very well. After years of having me to herself, she must share me with my online cohort.

I expected this when I chose to return to study two years ago. I knew finding time between being a mum, working part-time, and fitting in schoolwork would be a struggle. What I didn’t expect was the emotional toll it would take on me and the feeling of never having enough time to focus on any one thing.

I was twenty-one when I had my daughter. Before then, I had never really given a thought to higher education, it was something to consider in the future. I was busy having fun and travelling the world. When the future hit me in the form of a beautiful newborn, it was unexpected, to say the least. For the next few years that baby was my whole life. Before I knew it, she was eight. Independent and sassy. I had no idea who I was when she no longer needed me every single minute. Nappy changes, playdates and feedings were my whole life. Finally, I had time to do something for myself, and I didn’t know what the hell that could be. I knew I liked books. But how do you turn a love of reading into a career?

Deciding to return to school and study creative writing, was not an easy choice. I knew I would have to sacrifice time and money to do this. I managed to keep working throughout my first year. It was a struggle. I spent many late nights trying to finish assignments when my kid was finally in bed. Being made redundant at the end of 2023 was a blessing and a curse. I would have more time to focus on my 2024 study, but even less money.

Despite everything, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Finally get to study something that is just for me is a privileged experience. At eighteen I couldn’t have done this. Being responsible for my own learning was not something I was mature enough for. Partying and socialising would have taken priority over finishing any qualification. Putting myself back in the mindset of study was challenging. Overall without added life experience staying the course could not have been possible.